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lala star .
♥Disclaimers .

Welcome to chika chan's blog.
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♥Yours Truly ,


chika chan

26th yo ♥soon-will-be- wifeybunda♥ Libra & Happy

Daisypath Wedding tickers

♥Tagboard .


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♥Lovelies .


Venda*
si-AB-bebi~*
Ichaki~*
shinta-monda~*

Lovelies
Milk~*
Ayame chan*
Ismail*
Gunkie*
Kalinn chan*
Lihaa*
Combro aka nenty*
Kayin~*
icha jaejoong~*
Ichan~*
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Jane~*
Tiwie~*
Tiwie lagi~*
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Inda'kuw*
beybi&friends*
Rii*
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CCI blog ^3^ *
Susan*
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princesspink*

my favorite chuuu~
YunJaeisLOVE*
YooSuisalsoLOVE*
Yunjaelove~*
Stop GLOBAL WARMING!*
Raditya Dika*
MP3 download-by request*


♥Archives .

April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 /

♥Credits .

Baby_Fiqa | Layout | Host

♥Wish list.

05 December 2009 SAH! XD
♥ New Laptop
♥ New Touch-phone
♥ New Camera for the honeymoon
♥ Nicholas Sparks' books
Buy those shoes my hunnie ♥ for him
Nice Wedding Party *notreallyniceactually :(
Wearing my Wedding Kebaya
Prewed Indoor
Ijab Qabul yang lancarALHAMDULILLAH!
Wedding Shoes~
Diamond Ring~ *woohoo~* Totally LOVE
♥ Honeymoon~ *HAHA*
First Baby C *hihi*ALHAMDULILLAH~
♥ Our NewlyWeds' House (rent or HM)
♥ *will think it first*
♥ ....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

dec 10, '08

my weak days~


mellow lagi..
feelin' blue lagi~
haha~

ih ga gw banget emang..atau gw banget?
sedih mulu, mellow mulu? XD

it's hard to look cheerful everytime..
tho in fact, i'm dying inside.

looks like today is my weakiest day for the weeks of suffer.
i'm not used to cry anymore since i dont know when..but the tears came out easily now..
my heart feel soooo heavy it seems like i don't have anymore power to stand.

what am i supposed to do then?

where's the certain someone who give the promises to always be there whenever i need a shoulder or just an ear to listen.

after all, it's just another promises. yet i always believe in.


i really want to give up..so much it's hurt.
even mom's said to just live my life and move on.
[she seems to dissapointed tho. and she said nothing when i asked her to stop hoping the hopeless hope~ (LOL!)]


but yet i still can't.


maybe i just need to get away from everything.
i'll found the way out soon then.
as for now, i'll prepare everything ^^


and maybe, this would be my greatest regret OR maybe not. i don't know, and i don't want to think about it just yet ^^
let it flow lah~ whatever the outcome, i'll live with it~


i better put my optimistic mode to the fullest.
finishing my every-delayed-thing,
get a new well-paid and promising job,
find the new Me...the tough, mature and more optimistic one~
hah!
and then maybe, i'll get my happiness in the end.
another maybe, 
maybe, if i could come out from my shell ... i will see the world clearly~



^
^
waaaaa~~ looks like i already listed my 2009's resolutions! LOL!



OH! i found this quote, and it's quite makes me beam with hopes,

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us... -Hellen Keller"

^
yah my door of happiness belum ketutup banget sih kyaknya, it still have its hope for me ... but like mom suddenly said, "don't believe in the theory only" ---- 
haha~ saya gak maju2 karna nengok ke belakang terus 8DD~


my life's full with theory~ theory~ theory~ promises~ promises~ promises~ 

LOL~!

dec 11, 08


another blue moment..


hhhh~

i'm feelin' no good.
my heart beats crazily, for no reason~
i feel so damn nervous(?), sad, insecure...and all 

the negatives..
and my thoughts goes to one certain person.


before now, kayaknya gw pernah bilang deh..
kalo kadang apa yang gw rasain itu ada hubungannya 

sama sipacar.
maksudnya, kalo perasaan gw ga enak dan kepikiran 

dia mulu itu biasanya ada something sama dia. kayak 

waktu dia lagi down banget, eh tiba2 aja dong 

perasaan gw gak enak padahal gw gak tau...
begitu ditanya ke dia, bener aja dia lagi down ataw 

something happen.


percaya gak percaya sih yang kayak begini. tapi ini 

udah berkali2 terjadi...

biasanya juga kalo gw mellow banget itu artinya gw 

lagi PMS, tapi kali ini nggak tuh...

aduh insecure banget...

duluuu...gw selalu bilang, "ih gpp lah kalo dia ada 

pacar lagi, namanya juga masih muda..biar seneng2 

dulu.."
tapi sekarang2 ini, kok pikiran itu gak seoptimis 

dulu ya...
jadi bikin gw mikir ulang, "apa iya gw bakal nerima 

kalo dia have another fling~"
well i dunno, masalah umur ngaruh gak sih? XDD


susah juga ternyata kalo having Long Distance 

Relationship with not enough communication.
it's not entirely my fault tho, i'm trying already.

duh, capek juga sih ya kalo pacaran sendirian XDDD~
yang usaha pertahanin cuma satu orang..
kira2 bakal berhasil gak yah?


ya ampuuunn~ gw tuh ngeluh mulu yah hahaha~
selalu mikir negatif kayak gini..
tapi defense gw sih,
'yah what kind of feeling should i feel, when 

there's no real talk between us? ga ada usaha dari 

dia untuk keep it save with communicating, neither 

do in my side which caused by too much pride LOL!'
^
OMG! itu mah salah dua2nya XD

defense gw lagi :
"siapa yang ga males kalo smsnya jaraaaaaaang banget 

dibales, pdhl kan bisa pinjem dl yah 8D, dan telpon 

juga -meski udah dijadwalin- dilupa2in. atau bahkan, 

gak diangkat? damn. even untuk bilang i love you too 

aja nggak XDDD (emg smsnya siapa yg baca yah XDDD) 

kayaknya ga ada niat dari dia untuk mempertahankan."

he's too concieted. he thinks that because of our 

almost 9 years together, there's no need to do 

things what couple do, because he thinks, to just 

know that he loves me and vice versa is more than 

enough.

yaaaaaaahhhh XDDDDDDDD
lucu banget yah sipacar XD pengen cubit pipinya pake 

gunting deh XDD
kalo dia udah ngeluarin kata2nya yang gitu yah, udah 

deh the talk ended. gw pun gak bisa berkata apa2 

lagi, ehm even i always tried tapi hasilnya sama 

aja, he won the fight! 8D my pacar RULES! LOL~!



tapi kalo dipikir2 lagi, kasian dia...
down banget disana, butuh support. makanya gw 

dilema, mau marah tapi kasian dia takut kenapa2 tapi 

kalo diem aja yah makan hati XDDDD
aneh ah.


oh iya, some of you may think that i'm too open 

about my life XDDD
people can read me now XDDD
DUN!DUN!DUN!----attention-seeker LOL!

^
bukan maksud sih, tapi yah begini deh cara gw 

ngelepasin apa yang jadi beban hati cieeeehhh XDDD
dengan nulis apa yang gw rasain, kayaknya perasaan 

sedikit lega.


makanya i need this blog very very much..
Hell with what people's judge for what i wrote LOL!
mau baca soookkk, nggak juga gpp 8D
ih egois yah? hahaha~



aduh seriously, gw tau salah satu bakal baca ni 

entry dan bakal marah sama gw, agak ngeri gw hahaha~
so sorry babies, tapi ini yang gw rasain.
so so so sorry!


eh eh tapi spam2 ga jelas diShoutBox bikin gw ga 

comfortable nih jadi bikin males liat blog dr kmrn2, 

ada yang tau gimana ngehandlenya gak?
ih mau nimpuk rasanya...



halah2..
ngomongnya jadi ngalur ngidul XDDD~
yasuw lah, mau lanjut dengerin lagu2 mellow 

mematikan lagi (OhmygloriousGOD! XD)


BYE!
miss.fabs (yang butuh kasih sayang --- HAHAHAHA, 

najis!)




Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy