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lala star .
♥Disclaimers .

Welcome to chika chan's blog.
Please leave a tag.
No vulgarities please;D
If u hate me pls leave .

♥Yours Truly ,


chika chan

26th yo ♥soon-will-be- wifeybunda♥ Libra & Happy

Daisypath Wedding tickers

♥Tagboard .


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♥Lovelies .


Venda*
si-AB-bebi~*
Ichaki~*
shinta-monda~*

Lovelies
Milk~*
Ayame chan*
Ismail*
Gunkie*
Kalinn chan*
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icha jaejoong~*
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Inda'kuw*
beybi&friends*
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CCI blog ^3^ *
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princesspink*

my favorite chuuu~
YunJaeisLOVE*
YooSuisalsoLOVE*
Yunjaelove~*
Stop GLOBAL WARMING!*
Raditya Dika*
MP3 download-by request*


♥Archives .

April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 /

♥Credits .

Baby_Fiqa | Layout | Host

♥Wish list.

05 December 2009 SAH! XD
♥ New Laptop
♥ New Touch-phone
♥ New Camera for the honeymoon
♥ Nicholas Sparks' books
Buy those shoes my hunnie ♥ for him
Nice Wedding Party *notreallyniceactually :(
Wearing my Wedding Kebaya
Prewed Indoor
Ijab Qabul yang lancarALHAMDULILLAH!
Wedding Shoes~
Diamond Ring~ *woohoo~* Totally LOVE
♥ Honeymoon~ *HAHA*
First Baby C *hihi*ALHAMDULILLAH~
♥ Our NewlyWeds' House (rent or HM)
♥ *will think it first*
♥ ....

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

...


aaaaaaaaackkk! aku pingsan liat pics DBSK di gayo daejun!

hwaaaaaaaaa smexy!!!

*isdead*

suka banget tato barunya jaejoong! uhhh keren~



eh eh pas lagi kelilingan soompi nemu something interesting ihiiiww~

...


YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH TVXQ WHEN...

(coba kita lihat, segimana terobsesinya kah gw 8DDD~ yg gw banget = bold!)


- Everything that you basically own that can play CDs/mp3s, has their music in it!
- You "silent scream" while watching their performances, and then replay the video just to make sure. And the process repeats itself (x83505756..) 

- You know those moments when, lets say.. the boys break out into pelvic thrusts (O__o) and your jaw drops to the floor, and doesn't come back up.. Yeah XD
- You know you're obsessed when you see a dolphin and the first thing you think of is "JUNSU!"
- You know you're obsessed when you read "Twilight" and you think Jae is Edward. 

- You know you're obsessed when you buy everything Micky Mouse you see simply because Yoochun is also named, "Micky."
- You know you're obsessed when the word food immediately makes you think "CHANGMIN!"
- You know you're obsessed when you're a girl and you get Jae's haircut.
- You know you're obsessed when you buy something because it reminds you of TVXQ.

- You know you're obsessed when you get mad, for reals, if someone says something bad about TVXQ.
- You know you're obsessed when everyone around you says, "Damn, why do you like boys who look like girls?"
- You know you're obsessed when your wall, desktop, cellphone, and mp3 player are filled with pictures of TVXQ.
- You know you're obsessed when you compare every guy you meet with TVXQ.
- read a music article and expect TVXQ to be mentioned.
- watch a show just to hear them talk about the boys for 1 minute. (:giggle:)
- you can answer any question about them
- you have a bunch of tvxq icons, wallpapers, etc. on your computer
- you imagine yourself meeting them xD

- you want to learn korean/japanese because they speak those languages
- you've watched their videos so many times you know some dance parts
- just looking at their pictures/videos makes you happy
- you feel deprived of dbsk when you cant use the computer/your internet's not working
- You recognize all their voices when you listen to their songs.
- You daydream about them.

- your alarm clock is the wake up messages they did (yay for yoochun in the morning!). 
- you try to wear the same clothes they do (like banc). 
- you get excited when they own the same things as you (Sony Vaio laptop!! YA!)
-You are bored during class and find yourself writing over and over again "TVXQ"... all over the sheet of paper where you're suposed to be taking down notes...
- More than the majority of your songs are of DBSK.
- You've considered choosing the names of your children with [insert member name].
- You think of one of them as your future husband. (or all of them, XD)
- You remember and celebrate their birthdays but not your friends', and sometimes.. your parents' "
- You place DBSK and fangirling before health, sleep and especially homework XD

-You've printed all the existing piano sheets you could find to their songs...even though you cannot play half of them. 
- You're late to school almost every morning because you're watching a video.
- You repeat every single song you love of theirs ahemBOLEROahem
- The time you spend on the computer is mostly for them/because of them
- Wake up at 4AM to catch the last hour of GDA.
- They're sad, you're sad. When they're happy, you're happy. 
- Just a picture of them smiling can brighten up your day.
- You've had a bad day and they're the only people that can cheer you up.
- You can't last longer than 3 days without going on Soompi/watching their videos/listening to their songs etc


You know you're obsessed with TVXQ when you think of something funny/hot/sexy/cute they did, and start grinning like mad. In fact, when something reminds you of them, you can't help but chuckle and smile.

Credits: iscreamshinki.net



I am so obsessed with them! HAHAHAHAHA~~


i'm out. nothing else to do XDDDD



Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy
Monday, December 29, 2008

............

Long time not writting anything~ dudududduuu~~

aku sedang menikmati hidup baru soalnya XDD

pasca depresi, widiiiiwww~!

masih suka inget sih, apalagi kemaren sempet main ke Subang, rumah nenek...

keingetan waktu liburan lebaran kemarin si mantan pacar pergi bareng keluarga besar gw kesana~

huhuhu~ padahal udah gak mau ikutan tuh kemaren, takut keingetan gini, tapi yaaa~ dipaksa..

untung juga tuh si "newcomer" 8D membuat gw sibuk dengan sms2nya yang ga ada capeknya LOL!


hayooooo~~ siapa itu newcomer?? XDDDD~


seperti pepatah mengatakan, mati satu tumbuh seribu LOL~

baru juga melewati masa depresi, eeeehhh sudah ada yg dateng XD *sombong mode on XD


enywaii~ siyal bener...

tadi lagi main FB, ceritanya kan iseng2 tuh ikutan kuis 'Which DBSK member are you?'

WIDIIIIWWW~ dapetnya JAEJOONGIE dunk!

TAPIII~~ pertanyaan terakhir nyesekin! XD


you're most sad when...
(a) when you don't have enough money to take a good care of your parents 
(b) your friends get in to trouble but you cant help them at all 
(c) when you can't see one of your parents no matter how much you miss them 
(d) breaking up your 8 years relationship with your lover. 
(e) i'm sad when other people are sad.


anjrit!!! 8DD telak banget pukulannya HAHAHA~

....

aaaaaaaaaahhhh~! random banget postingan kali ini~

karna aku malas, belum tidur XD nunggu donlotan Big Bang juga hihihi~


mau tidurr aaaahhh~~

lain kali balik lagi~ mau ngomongin soal yang lebih penting dari ini LOL!

me, the cutey, said over and OUT!



Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy
Sunday, December 21, 2008



You mixed me up for someone
Who'd fall apart without you
Yeah you broke my heart for the first time 
But I'll get over that too 
It's hard to find the reasons 
Who can see the rhyme? 
I guess that we were seasons out of time 
I guess you didn't know me 

If you think love is blind 
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines 
Surprised that I caught you out 
On every single time that you lied 
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry 
No not me, not I, not I, no not me, not I 


The story goes on without you 
And there's got to be another ending 
But yeah you broke my heart it won't be the last time 
But I'll get over them too 
As a new door opens we close the ones behind 
And if you search your soul I know you'll find 
You never really knew me 

If you think love is blind 
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines 
Surprised that I caught you out 
On every single time that you lied 
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry 
No not me, not I, not I, not I, not I 


All you said to me 
All you promised me 
All the mystery never did believe 
No I never cry no I never not me not I 


If you think love is blind 
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines 
Surprised that I caught you out 
On every single time that you lied 
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry No not I, I won't cry 
No not me, not I, not I, Not I
No not me, not I


Delta Goodrem - Not Me, Not I.




Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy
Saturday, December 20, 2008


...

akhirnya aku pergi liburan besoookk!! YAY! meski hanya ke bandung, setidaknya keluar dulu dari kota ini. dimana setiap pojok ngingetin sama si pacar.

lagipula gw butuh liburan ini untuk berpikir. tentang apa yang selanjutnya harus gw pilih dan yang terbaik untuk masa depan gw. 


i really am depressed. i cant eat, work or even walk properly. so i need to gather myself back. think positif thought. and all~


aku ngantuk, besok harus berangkat. so i better sleep. nanti dilanjutin besok aja ahhh postingannya...see ya!


POKOKNYA AKU LIBURAAANNN~!!!




Why were they doing this to their loved ones? Betrayal never has a plausible excuse, the traitor should be staked to death for the sheer glut of wanting another when he already had someone warming his bed and caring for his heart.

*imie_chan @LJ*



Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy
Friday, December 19, 2008

....

GOSH!!


I'm dead now!

gila, ntah dengan cara apa lagi dia nyakitin gw~ tinggal tunggu aja deh.

sedih banget rasanya pas ngeliat message gw didelete. ntah apa maksudnya.

yah at least dia sudah baca.

tapi komennya di fsnya sendiri itu, it's offending my siblings!

pdhl adik2 gw kan cuma mau ngebelain dan mempertahankan pride kakaknya yang udah diinjek2 sama "temen2 baru who're desperate in need"nya ituh. OMG!

salah ya kalo adik belain kakak?

dan mereka tau jelas kok masalahnya.



GOD! i really need some escape before i put dagger on my throat as an accessorie. -___-;;

gw juga liat komen ceweknya ke dia,


 black box
Posted 12/18/2008 5:32 pm 

inget A....
huKum kaRma berLaKu
aa ada ade pereMpuan
mereKa bakaLan ngeraSain rasa saKit yang leBih saKit dari y gw rasain

(hhh...dek dek, hanya orang yang BERIMAN yang diterima doanya, bukan orang yang suka MENGUMBAR PERZINAHANNYA dan lebih buruknya lagi MEMFITNAH seseorang sudah berzinah. jadi tenang aja a XDD)


awalnya sempet berpikir, hmm apa mereka suda putus?

tapi ini gw kok jadi makin ga percaya yah dia uda mutusin ceweknya, masalahnya gw liat di fs cewek itu aja 1 person in her feature friend sudah kembali dia, si kapten kepiting,dan itu diubah 2 jam yang lalu, setelah komen dibuat.

waaahh~ apakah itu caranya mengibuli saya lagi???

LOL!



maunya gw sih ya, kalo emang he wants me to leave just say it out loud, gak perlu pake cara gitu.

tapi asal tau aja sih,gw yakin seyakin2 hidupnya gak akan pernah lepas dari bayang2 gw. XD


siapa lagi yang bisa tahan dengan manusia kepiting selama 9 tahun selain ... si supergirl? LOL!



aaaahhh~

upside down banget hari ini...

awalnya seneng, aaahh sudah putus mungkin.

tapi begitu ditegesin, hmmm ada keganjilan. XD

eeehhh~ down lagi deh.


aahhh tau deh.

tetep sih gw masih percaya sicowok. i've known him since forever gitu..


yang penting sekarang, saya butuh liburan. beside, my friends keep pestering me to get some vacation for myself. hmmm~ besok cari deh, kalo dapet tujuan mungkin malem langsung berangkat, i dunno.


yang jelas, gw mau mencoba menTerapi diri selama liburan itu.


dalam 1 minggu itu, gw mau mengeluarkan semuuuuua rasa sakit yang gw rasain,gw bakal nangis sepuas2nya, bakal teriak2 sepuasnya.


dan setelah liburan berakhir, gw pulang kerumah, gw kembali dengan membawa SAYA yang baru. yang siap untuk move on dan menata hidup untuk diri sendiri dan gak pernah nengok kebelakang lagi. semoga apa yang gw harapkan ini berhasil gw jalani dengan baik lah ^^



doakan aku kuat teman!!



lagipula papaku pulang tanggal 24 dec. gw gak mau menunjukkan wajah depresi didepan si papa, karna dia pasti bakal tau something bad has happen to his daughter and his family.


BUT, inspite of everything he's done to me... i still love him dearly, and there's a little hope that he'll come to his sense and realize what he's trying to get rid of. i hope he will.


..so that's why love, if you just give me one misscall or send me one little message, i'll consider to forgive and forget for this time again. i'll come back. oh i wish his love is HUGE enough to do this.


aaaahh~


ternyata gw masih belum sehat2 juga. kemarin hidung sebelah kiri mengeluarkan darah terus, dan sekarang 22nya -____-;;


what should i do???


masih gak napsu makan pula, padahal hesti mau traktir hanamasa... siyal!

aaahhh sutralah.

gw harus tidur, kalo nggak nanti bodyguard2 saya marah2 lagi LOL!




special thanks to the bodyguards :


my bebi chibot for his support, words and companion to face my depression and sorrowful days. thanks for all the 'date' beb! ^^ 


my vendahoney and hestybaby for their love, time, hugs, aspirin (plus tips how to do suicide with aspirin by venda LOL! hesti : makan satu aja chik! buat tenang aja. venda : *sambil meluk* jangan, 3 aja biar tidur lama. hesti : VENDA!! --------- kemarin; venda: chik makan 10 aja aspirinnya HAHAHA~ hesti: VENDA, gw gak mau tau yah, gw ga mau jadi evidence! XDD  LOVE YOU GUYS!), Tips how to do suicides dari gedung tinggi XDDD, EVERYTHING which means LOADS for me. thanks for making me laugh yesterday too lovelies~! and NO, i'm not that stoopid to die useless like that XD beside, i don't want to die hurt LOL!


my sisters and brother for the support, love and for the eagerness to keep my pride from being thorn by bitches who likes to 'mengumbar aib sendiri' ^^


for Shintasayang and Popodarling for the support and love~ shinta, mari kita perangi depresi kita sama2 LOL!


and last,


for my MOM...for accompany me through these days, the hugs, to share the depression, the tears (ternyata, gw gak makan 3 hari ini, my mom juga ikutan gak makan XD aaawww~). love you mom, you're the best!






I LOVE YOU ALL!!



i hope i will see the rainbow after this hard rain sooner ^^





Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy
Thursday, December 18, 2008

....

it's been like hell for these two days.

i'm not eating nor drink. i had a fever.

it's all because of my heart that's broken into pieces.



soo...yep.

i found out that my perfect boyfriend cheat on me ^^

and now, his new girlfriend keep telling me that my boyfriend said me and him are friends

and all the garbage.

LOL!

but OF COURSE i don't believe her.

i've known my boyfriend for 9 years tho.


(indo mode on)

pertamanya gw kesel, dan sakit banget.

tapi setelah denger apa yang diomongin cewe itu haha

gw sadar akan sesuatu, hmmm she's just want to break us apart dan claim my boyfriend.

LOL!


gw sadar,

setelah ngobrol sama ceweknya dan dia ngomong all the bullshit (yep, handphonenya ditahan sicewek) gw gak boleh mundur! damn! itu artinya gw kalah XD dan emang gw ga niat mundur kok


whatever happen gw harus tetep support dia dan give him love that he needs.


gw ngerti sih, dia disana sendirian, stressful environment dan dia bukan orang yang bisa hidup sendiri. so saat si cewek menyerahkan dirinya dan dia ngerasa butuh tempat curhat, terjadilah hubungan saling membutuhkan XD


that's my fault i think. i'm not there.


yah yang lucunya yah, si cewe ini bilang kalo my boyfriend bilang ke dia kalo gw sama dia gak ada komitmen, cuma temen aja, tapi dia sayang hahaha~ dan katanya si cewe ke gw, gw jangan maksa2 pacar gw itu untuk tunangan kalo dia gak mau HAHAHAHA~


lucu banget!


sutralah!

i'm better now. i get my optimist thought back ^^


so i'll support him no matter what.


BUT STILL, i'll move on. get a real and better life.


buat hasil akhirnya gw serahin ke Allah aja~ gw ikhlas kok. yang penting kan udah berusaha~ ^^


mungkin sekarang mata si lelaki saya sedang ditutup, makanya i keep on praying that he'll open his eyes~ ^^ malaikat juga tau, siapa yang jadi juaranya XDDDDDDDDDD~


aahhh~ another song for my love~!



The Pogues - Love you till the end


I just want to see you
When youre all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why dont you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end

I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words dont tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end



However, i believe our love is true love. soulmate will never be apart.

i'll still wait here~



with heart that's too broken,

miss.fabs!



Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy

dec 10, '08

my weak days~


mellow lagi..
feelin' blue lagi~
haha~

ih ga gw banget emang..atau gw banget?
sedih mulu, mellow mulu? XD

it's hard to look cheerful everytime..
tho in fact, i'm dying inside.

looks like today is my weakiest day for the weeks of suffer.
i'm not used to cry anymore since i dont know when..but the tears came out easily now..
my heart feel soooo heavy it seems like i don't have anymore power to stand.

what am i supposed to do then?

where's the certain someone who give the promises to always be there whenever i need a shoulder or just an ear to listen.

after all, it's just another promises. yet i always believe in.


i really want to give up..so much it's hurt.
even mom's said to just live my life and move on.
[she seems to dissapointed tho. and she said nothing when i asked her to stop hoping the hopeless hope~ (LOL!)]


but yet i still can't.


maybe i just need to get away from everything.
i'll found the way out soon then.
as for now, i'll prepare everything ^^


and maybe, this would be my greatest regret OR maybe not. i don't know, and i don't want to think about it just yet ^^
let it flow lah~ whatever the outcome, i'll live with it~


i better put my optimistic mode to the fullest.
finishing my every-delayed-thing,
get a new well-paid and promising job,
find the new Me...the tough, mature and more optimistic one~
hah!
and then maybe, i'll get my happiness in the end.
another maybe, 
maybe, if i could come out from my shell ... i will see the world clearly~



^
^
waaaaa~~ looks like i already listed my 2009's resolutions! LOL!



OH! i found this quote, and it's quite makes me beam with hopes,

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us... -Hellen Keller"

^
yah my door of happiness belum ketutup banget sih kyaknya, it still have its hope for me ... but like mom suddenly said, "don't believe in the theory only" ---- 
haha~ saya gak maju2 karna nengok ke belakang terus 8DD~


my life's full with theory~ theory~ theory~ promises~ promises~ promises~ 

LOL~!

dec 11, 08


another blue moment..


hhhh~

i'm feelin' no good.
my heart beats crazily, for no reason~
i feel so damn nervous(?), sad, insecure...and all 

the negatives..
and my thoughts goes to one certain person.


before now, kayaknya gw pernah bilang deh..
kalo kadang apa yang gw rasain itu ada hubungannya 

sama sipacar.
maksudnya, kalo perasaan gw ga enak dan kepikiran 

dia mulu itu biasanya ada something sama dia. kayak 

waktu dia lagi down banget, eh tiba2 aja dong 

perasaan gw gak enak padahal gw gak tau...
begitu ditanya ke dia, bener aja dia lagi down ataw 

something happen.


percaya gak percaya sih yang kayak begini. tapi ini 

udah berkali2 terjadi...

biasanya juga kalo gw mellow banget itu artinya gw 

lagi PMS, tapi kali ini nggak tuh...

aduh insecure banget...

duluuu...gw selalu bilang, "ih gpp lah kalo dia ada 

pacar lagi, namanya juga masih muda..biar seneng2 

dulu.."
tapi sekarang2 ini, kok pikiran itu gak seoptimis 

dulu ya...
jadi bikin gw mikir ulang, "apa iya gw bakal nerima 

kalo dia have another fling~"
well i dunno, masalah umur ngaruh gak sih? XDD


susah juga ternyata kalo having Long Distance 

Relationship with not enough communication.
it's not entirely my fault tho, i'm trying already.

duh, capek juga sih ya kalo pacaran sendirian XDDD~
yang usaha pertahanin cuma satu orang..
kira2 bakal berhasil gak yah?


ya ampuuunn~ gw tuh ngeluh mulu yah hahaha~
selalu mikir negatif kayak gini..
tapi defense gw sih,
'yah what kind of feeling should i feel, when 

there's no real talk between us? ga ada usaha dari 

dia untuk keep it save with communicating, neither 

do in my side which caused by too much pride LOL!'
^
OMG! itu mah salah dua2nya XD

defense gw lagi :
"siapa yang ga males kalo smsnya jaraaaaaaang banget 

dibales, pdhl kan bisa pinjem dl yah 8D, dan telpon 

juga -meski udah dijadwalin- dilupa2in. atau bahkan, 

gak diangkat? damn. even untuk bilang i love you too 

aja nggak XDDD (emg smsnya siapa yg baca yah XDDD) 

kayaknya ga ada niat dari dia untuk mempertahankan."

he's too concieted. he thinks that because of our 

almost 9 years together, there's no need to do 

things what couple do, because he thinks, to just 

know that he loves me and vice versa is more than 

enough.

yaaaaaaahhhh XDDDDDDDD
lucu banget yah sipacar XD pengen cubit pipinya pake 

gunting deh XDD
kalo dia udah ngeluarin kata2nya yang gitu yah, udah 

deh the talk ended. gw pun gak bisa berkata apa2 

lagi, ehm even i always tried tapi hasilnya sama 

aja, he won the fight! 8D my pacar RULES! LOL~!



tapi kalo dipikir2 lagi, kasian dia...
down banget disana, butuh support. makanya gw 

dilema, mau marah tapi kasian dia takut kenapa2 tapi 

kalo diem aja yah makan hati XDDDD
aneh ah.


oh iya, some of you may think that i'm too open 

about my life XDDD
people can read me now XDDD
DUN!DUN!DUN!----attention-seeker LOL!

^
bukan maksud sih, tapi yah begini deh cara gw 

ngelepasin apa yang jadi beban hati cieeeehhh XDDD
dengan nulis apa yang gw rasain, kayaknya perasaan 

sedikit lega.


makanya i need this blog very very much..
Hell with what people's judge for what i wrote LOL!
mau baca soookkk, nggak juga gpp 8D
ih egois yah? hahaha~



aduh seriously, gw tau salah satu bakal baca ni 

entry dan bakal marah sama gw, agak ngeri gw hahaha~
so sorry babies, tapi ini yang gw rasain.
so so so sorry!


eh eh tapi spam2 ga jelas diShoutBox bikin gw ga 

comfortable nih jadi bikin males liat blog dr kmrn2, 

ada yang tau gimana ngehandlenya gak?
ih mau nimpuk rasanya...



halah2..
ngomongnya jadi ngalur ngidul XDDD~
yasuw lah, mau lanjut dengerin lagu2 mellow 

mematikan lagi (OhmygloriousGOD! XD)


BYE!
miss.fabs (yang butuh kasih sayang --- HAHAHAHA, 

najis!)




Written by; ♥chika chan ^.~♥

pregnancy